weak shift. so slow, so slow. i dont know where to begin, or end. yesterday tobin took me up this offramp to i-5 towards some makers mark, & we saw seattle spiral around us. everything changed. i didnt know what to make of it, the curve of the city after a decent night at work, all the way up the hill. theres so much of this city left to see. all very surreal. i was hoping id get over that eventually, but that feeling works its way back again & again. the experiences in these past few weeks alone have shifted me entirely. id be confused or overwhelmed, but i never bother. i just keep going on, getting further in. or farther out. not sure. i met with suzanne, she told me to live for myself. no one else. & not to feel guilty for it. i should, i want to, but i dont. i dont feel guilty yet. i just feel fear that someday i will. she told me to always choose adventure. almost always. i was taught shame. i cant handle that anymore. im not ashamed of who ive become. or what i believe. or how i go about my days. this is all very irrelevant for an online blog, you know? im stoked to be alive, if only for the time being.
"in the flowers" animal collective
"within you" ray lamontagne
"the white flash" modeselektor featuring thom yorke
"slow show" the national
"despite what youve been told" two gallants
"a gift for melody anne" the avett brothers
"ode to lrc" band of horses
"after the curtain" beirut
"in your mind" built to spill
"all you ever wanted" the black keys
"live your life" ti
"cant believe a single word" vhs or beta
[tobin:]
it seems i just missed a call from brendan, meandering through the roads towards memphis, on his way back from south by southwest, & that voicemail nearly broke my heart. if i could type it out, youd understand. i miss that rambling voice. i miss that wandering boy. those were the sweetest words ive heard in awhile.
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